Are You Too “Obsessed” With Getting Pregnant?

When we polled Ava users about the most annoying advice they got from friends and family who knew they were trying to conceive, the most common admonition by far was, “just relax and it’ll happen.” One woman even heard it from her doctor, who helpfully suggested that she get drunk, too. Here were a few other comments:

“You’re thinking about it too much.”
“Take a vacation and you’ll come back pregnant—that’s what happened to me!”
“It will happen in god’s timing.”
“You just need to stop obsessing.”

It would be nice if all it took to get pregnant was a shot of tequila and passionate lovemaking session. And for some women, that is all it takes. But for others, getting pregnant takes work. It takes waking up early to take your temperature, peeing on countless sticks, examining your cervical mucus daily, and planning your sex life around your ovulation schedule.

Some women get pregnant quickly, and some women don’t. If you’re in the latter group, it doesn’t mean that you’re less of a woman, or obsessed, or broken. All it means is that you have a harder time getting pregnant, so you’re more likely to do something about it. And guess what: the girl who got pregnant on her first try would act the same way as you if she found herself starting cycle four and still no BFP.

It is almost impossible to be casual about getting pregnant if it doesn’t happen right away. And when someone tells you to stop trying so hard, they’re implying that you are a baby-obsessed loser who simply enjoys obsessing over classifying her cervical mucus and scrutinizing her temperature chart. That if you really deserved to get pregnant, it would just happen naturally, without even trying. When someone tells you to stop trying so hard, what they’re really asking is why you can’t be the carefree girl who throws off her high heels and rolls into bed on her wedding night and wakes up oops-pregnant.

Who knows why you can’t be her—it doesn’t matter. You’re not her, you’re you. Some people get pregnant quickly, and some people take a little more time. The difference has nothing to do with your value as a person. But one thing is certain. There is no shame in yearning to be a parent. It takes bravery, it takes vulnerability, and yes, it takes effort. Most worthwhile things in life do.

There’s a lot of pressure on women to pretend that we don’t have desires, that we are not ambitious, that we are laid back and chill. That’s a trap. Truly living involves admitting that you want something and trying hard to get it, even when there is no guarantee of success. Falling in love is like that, excelling in your career is like that, and having a baby is like that.

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Jade & Tanner Got Pregnant with Ava!

Thank you everyone for all the support and for sharing your stories since we announced our pregnancy on Wednesday! We are so excited! For those of you who have been following us for a while, you may have seen our past post back in November about using the @avawomen bracelet to help us get pregnant faster. We got pregnant really soon after we started using Ava! I wore the bracelet every night while sleeping and Ava told us which five days were the best days to try for a baby each month. It took so much stress out of the process and was so easy to use. Since so many of you have kindly opened your hearts to me and have shared your stories about trying to get pregnant, I wanted to share what worked for us. Also, I've partnered with Ava to get you all a $20 off coupon code: JANNERBABY I'll be using Ava for all our future pregnancies and cycle tracking between babies. Thank you, Ava.

Mamiblock Got Pregnant with Ava!

@Mamiblock​ benutzt nun auch Ava! Hier ein kleiner Ausschnitt aus Julias Beitrag auf Youtube in dem sie erklärt, wie Ava funktioniert! Wir sind gespannt, wie es weiter geht mit Ava und Julia! Einen erholsamen Samstag Euch allen!