{"id":34923,"date":"2019-11-19T10:58:57","date_gmt":"2019-11-19T18:58:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.avawomen.com\/?p=34923"},"modified":"2019-11-19T10:58:57","modified_gmt":"2019-11-19T18:58:57","slug":"five-love-languages-of-ttc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.avawomen.com\/avaworld\/five-love-languages-of-ttc\/","title":{"rendered":"The Five Love Languages of Trying to Get Pregnant"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">Trying for a baby can be extremely emotionally vulnerable and energetically taxing. \u00a0As a full-spectrum doula and\u00a0<\/span><a style=\"text-decoration: none; user-select: auto; outline: 0px; cursor: pointer;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thebirthboss.com\/fertility\/\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #1155cc; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">fertility coach<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">, I often see couples turn away from each other when trying to conceive, as this period of big emotions draws attention to any strain already existing in a relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">Investing in your love life might be at the bottom of your agenda right now, but learning how to speak your partner\u2019s love language can help you turn this highly sensitive time into an opportunity to be highly attuned to one another\u2019s needs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">The concept of love languages was introduced by Gary Chapman in 1992. The basic principle is that everyone likes to receive love in different ways, and the ways you might express your love might not be the same language your partner likes to receive it back in. I recently shared the\u00a0<\/span><a style=\"text-decoration: none; user-select: auto; outline: 0px; cursor: pointer;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B3enT74gXMh\/\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #1155cc; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">Five Love Languages of Postpartum<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">\u00a0with my community and people went NUTS &#8211; so it made me wonder what other areas of the journey to parenthood this applied to. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">Learning your partner\u2019s love languages, especially through the emotional turmoil that can come alongside a fertility journey, can help you both stay in sync.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-35201 size-blog-width\" src=\"https:\/\/avablog-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/thumbnail_The_205_20Love_20Languages_20in_20Postpartum_png_mhaG7Ihf-1-900x900.png\" alt=\"the 5 love languages of TTC\" width=\"900\" height=\"900\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avablog-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-offloaded-content\/thumbnail_The_205_20Love_20Languages_20in_20Postpartum_png_mhaG7Ihf-1-900x900.png 900w, https:\/\/avablog-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-offloaded-content\/thumbnail_The_205_20Love_20Languages_20in_20Postpartum_png_mhaG7Ihf-1-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/avablog-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-offloaded-content\/thumbnail_The_205_20Love_20Languages_20in_20Postpartum_png_mhaG7Ihf-1-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/avablog-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-offloaded-content\/thumbnail_The_205_20Love_20Languages_20in_20Postpartum_png_mhaG7Ihf-1-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/avablog-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-offloaded-content\/thumbnail_The_205_20Love_20Languages_20in_20Postpartum_png_mhaG7Ihf-1-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/avablog-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-offloaded-content\/thumbnail_The_205_20Love_20Languages_20in_20Postpartum_png_mhaG7Ihf-1-363x363.png 363w, https:\/\/avablog-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-offloaded-content\/thumbnail_The_205_20Love_20Languages_20in_20Postpartum_png_mhaG7Ihf-1-380x380.png 380w, https:\/\/avablog-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-offloaded-content\/thumbnail_The_205_20Love_20Languages_20in_20Postpartum_png_mhaG7Ihf-1.png 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 900px) 100vw, 900px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2>Physical Touch<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">When trying to conceive, sex can become a chore, taking all the fun out of an intimate relationship. If your partner\u2019s love language is touch, try to maintain intimacy outside of sex, and when you do escalate things, have sex for pleasure rather than just for a purpose. Think about what you would be not only able to give, but to\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">receive<\/span><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">. Some ideas:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul style=\"margin: 0px 0px 0px 25px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;\">\n<li style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre; outline: 0px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">Find your inner teen: try 30 minutes of making out on the couch with your clothes on! No pressure for it to become anything more than that. Taking things slowly allows your body time to trigger a hormonal response that gets you feeling in the zone, especially when you might be feeling low and not into intimacy right away.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre; outline: 0px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">If you\u2019ve received some disappointing news, gentle touch such as a big hug or stroking your hair can go a long way, especially if you don\u2019t know exactly what to say. Show that you\u2019re there for them and allow them to release their emotions into your touch.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre; outline: 0px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">Respect when your partner is all touched out. Between the apps, the appointments, the pokes, and the prodding, sometimes your partner just might need someone to sit near them and hold space for them, but not physically touch them. Simply being there for someone can be quite intimate too.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><\/h2>\n<h2>Gifts<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">This love language always gets a bit of the side-eye, as most assume that those who value gifts over other languages are superficial. This is 100% not true; gift-giving is about your partner displaying a romantic gesture that lets you know that they\u2019re thinking of you. It doesn\u2019t have to be diamond earrings or a bouquet of roses, but think of small things that might brighten your partner\u2019s day when they\u2019re feeling low, such as:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul style=\"margin: 0px 0px 0px 25px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;\">\n<li style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre; outline: 0px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">Bringing home their favorite snack\/treat<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre; outline: 0px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">A gift card to a \u201ctreat yourself\u201d service (i.e. a massage, house cleaning, meal delivery)<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre; outline: 0px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">Text a screenshot of your Starbucks card, with a text saying \u201cHey, I\u2019m thinking of you. Have a coffee on me!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><\/h2>\n<h2>Acts of Service<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">After disappointing news, that defeated feeling is totally normal. Some people might struggle to prioritize household duties when they\u2019re grappling with big feelings. Having a partner pick up the household chores while you grieve and process your emotions is a great way to show your love. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">I always suggest taking the time to go through what you\u2019re household responsibilities are, if you\u2019re happy with the division of labor, and if not, is there anything that can either be outsourced or taken on by the other partner on occasion. Communication is key, and building up resentment over household chores can be easily avoided with a conversation.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>Words of Affirmation<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">Some people express their love by doing, and some people need to hear validation directly. In a fertility journey, there\u2019s a lot of stuff to do that can display how dedicated you are to your family, but make sure you also take the time to use clear words that make your partner feel recognized and loved throughout the process. Some phrases that might resonate:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul style=\"margin: 0px 0px 0px 25px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;\">\n<li style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre; outline: 0px;\"><em><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">I am so grateful for the sacrifice you are making for our family.<\/span><\/em><\/li>\n<li style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre; outline: 0px;\"><em><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">No matter what happens this time around, I am still so in love with you.<\/span><\/em><\/li>\n<li style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre; outline: 0px;\"><em><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">This experience has brought us closer together, and I am so appreciative that a strong person like you is my teammate.<\/span><\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><\/h2>\n<h2>Quality Time<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; outline: 0px;\">It is so easy for your fertility journey to be all-consuming and take over all other aspects of your life. I encourage you to spend time dating your partner through this process; to spend time doing activities you both enjoy. Whether it\u2019s going to a movie to take your mind off things, learning a new skill at a cooking class, or just getting some fresh air and taking a nice long walk together, spending quality time together will help you both feel like a couple and not just two baby-makers.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Trying for a baby can be extremely emotionally vulnerable and energetically taxing. \u00a0As a full-spectrum [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10022,"featured_media":35194,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[26],"tags":[400],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v17.3 (Yoast SEO v18.8) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Five Love Languages of Trying to Get Pregnant - Ava<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learning your partner\u2019s love languages, especially through the emotional 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